Learning to Row the Boat

Expanding on our ABA therapist's philosophy of "We need to learn to row the boat, not rock it."

I really have given this a lot of thought as the statement has stuck in my mind and resonated there for a couple of weeks now. What exactly does that mean, and how does it apply in our situation? Learning the basics of rowing a boat is not at all hard. It is a simple, repetitive, balanced motion that while it takes strength and consistency, does not take any advanced technique. However, what if there is a cross current? What if the wind is against you? What if you are caught in a squall and ready to capsize all together? If you continue you row the boat as you always have with the same simple, repetitive, balanced motion....would your boat (and you) survive and reach the desired destination? I'm guessing... probably not.

So why would I think that the traditional techniques of parenting would work when clearly there are "environmental influences" that are causing me to learn how to row the boat in a way that is specific to my given circumstance? To assume that the basics are going to get me to the other side is just arrogant and naive. That is where Sam's ABA therapy comes in. That is what Andre meant by learning to row the boat. I have to look at my own situation and how it changes, just like the weather, and adapt my technique to compensate accordingly.

It's a challenge for sure and takes much more strength than the simple motion and technique I have witnessed in others' parenting and was even raised with by my own parents. To some I am sure it will seem unconventional, and even ridiculous. However, when I see the effects of it in my child and the positive change in our interactions, I cannot help to throw my back into it and give it all my might.