The Image We See

While visiting with the hubster today we were talking about the recent video circulating where women go in and describe themselves to a sketch artist behind a screen and he draws them. Then someone else comes in a describes the same woman, and again, the artist creates an image. Then both images are revealed to each woman. In this it showed that their self description was much more critical and "ugly" than the way someone else saw them. The end message being that we are more beautiful than we think. Hubster made the comment that he wished that even for just 5 minutes that us women could see ourselves through our mate's eyes. He doesn't understand why we are so hard on ourselves when it comes to weight, wrinkles, and "imperfections."

For me it started after I got married. As a young woman I was very athletic, in great physical shape, got lots of attention (although not always the best kind) and had a lot of self confidence. Then I married, stayed home for a year, moved somewhere where I did not know anyone, and gained about 25-30 lbs. I still remember the 1st time I bought a pair of size 10 jeans. I was so devastated that I was in "double digits!" HA!!! I'd pay good damn money to be back in those size 10 jeans today! With age, and time, and a changing life style I have fluctuated between 132 and 218. Up and down and up and down again. I always hated myself when I would gain, like most women, but never payed attention to what helped me when I lost. I began to lose that confidence and feel like I was ugly and fat and not worth even trying to look pretty anymore. Not very healthy thoughts for someone not even in her 30s yet!

As I approached 30 I began to panic. Hubster even claims I had a full blown mid-life crisis. What I had failed to realize is that through all of this self loathing, my husband's view of me had not changed at all! He still thought I was hot, he still loved being intimate with me, and in his eyes I was still that 121 lb 18 year old girl that walked down the aisle all those years ago. It took that "mid-life crisis" to make me realize that I am beautiful. I am 30 years of beautiful and I am going to be 40 years of beautiful too! If I am as blessed as my grandmother, I will get to live to be 85 years of beautiful.