Celebrating Our Children's Milestones

During a conversation today about the milestones our children reach, my friend pointed out something I had never though of.  Everyone goes through the emotions of their "baby's" first step, first day of school, first day at camp, first date, first graduation, etc. As mothers we are expected to cry, feel a sense of loss, and even mourn our child's youth as it flies by faster than we can keep up with.

The point my friend made was that by allowing our children to see us sob our eyes out as we enroll them into school or as they walk toward the group they have been assigned at camp, we are making our child feel guilty for growing up and "leaving us."  No child likes to disappoint their mother.  Even at almost 33 years old, the sight of my own mother in tears is something that crushes my soul. Why do we do this? Why are we not celebrating these milestones rather than making our child feel like this is something that is traumatic for their parent?

I remember Mini Me's first day of school. I was so thrilled for her to be able to meet new friends, gain some independence from me, and learn so many new things! I tried very hard to convey how proud I was of her for being brave and getting on that bus without Mommy. She was 3. Now granted, once that bus turned the corner and was out of sight I did feel a pain of emptiness. Mini me, however, was none the wiser.Even this week as I drove away from dropping her off at her first day of gymnastics camp, I had that split second panic of, "oh, God, I hope she'll be alright."

It's during those times when we want to sob and cry we have to remember that we are not raising babies, or even children, we are raising adults. Empowering them to someday graduate not only from school, but also from the dependence of us parents. By giving them the sense of adventure, and bravery, and excitement they will be more confident when faced with new things. They will know we are always there cheering them on, and they can boldly go forward without having to worry about Mom's emotional state. The last thing I want Mini Me to think about before leaving the house this new school year, is "My big day is making my mommy sad."

Afterall, I can always cry after she's gone.